1. He would force people to listen to his music
He would trap people in theatres and make them listen to his music. Now we know where Bono got his idea from to put all those tunes on people’s iphones. He would put on incredibly long performances, lock people in, and force them to clap. Sounds like a proper laugh, doesn’t he?
2. He had 1,808 Olympic Wreaths
Michael Phelps & Usain Bolt eat your heart out! He would regularly cheat of course. He wasn’t on the juice or anything he would just get up to mad shit. He would tell people to turn up to a 4-chariot race, and he would turn up with a 10 chariot horse.
3. He sentenced a woman to death by giraffe
your guess is as good as mine, haven’t got a clue what that would entail. Getting executed at Chester Zoo, be arsed.
4. A urine tax was introduced during Nero’s reign
I know all taxes take the piss, but this was something else, literally taxing people’s piss because it was such a commodity. Swerve all that mate, imagine doing that self-assessment for HMRC?
5. He was the Anti Christ
There was a legend that Nero would return after his death as an Antichrist figure, and who could blame people for thinking it? The nonsense he got up to? Imagine being haunted by a giraffe killing, urine taxing, Olympic cheat who forced you to listen to his own music like David Brent.